Why the oil spill is my fault...

This morning I saw pictures of the birds that are drenched with oil from the gulf spill. My heart aches and I feel sick. While it easy to blame people in this disaster it is less easy to see how I played a part in this whole mess. So as painful as this is, here is my admission.......

I drive....alot. I want cheap gas. I complained when gas was over $4.00. I have been on my share of planes this year and I have a boat (more like a large tub but it still uses gas). I consume much to much and I admit it. I am stuck in a vicious cycle. I need to drive because I need to get places because I need to get things that make me drive! Now that I am locked in this terrible ball of yuck I can't get out. Like the birds, I am drowning in brown slimy shit and I feel a heaviness on my shoulders.

Sure some people may say "Stop driving as much, buy less, and slow down." That is too simple. I am way in here...up to my knees and that seems unlikely. What needs to happen?

First, I need to stop burying my head in the sand. I need to know that people risk their lives, lost their lives so I can have this American life. I need to understand that if companies are drilling too deep to plug up the well in an emergency they are digging too deep. Like am too deep in this oil dependent life, the well is so powerful, so deep, cutting it off seems close to impossible. I need to try to need less.

Second, I will explore other energy options. I need to look for ways to cut down my consumption because the government isn't exactly likely to show me ways. I will teach my children how we can have an impact, as small as it may be.

And finally, I need to pray. I believe in prayer. I believe in G-d. And I believe that we are all connected and BP's mistake is our mistake. So while I am angry and sad, I first have to admit that I contributed to the greed that caused this problem. The good news is that if I did it, I can start to undo it. I hope you will too.