The Handbook In Your Heart

What would you do for your child? Let me rephrase that...what wouldn't you do? Would you make sure that they were safe and protected? Would you do anything to keep them from harm? Would you "take a bullet" for them? That has always been how I have felt. I will keep them safe and unharmed..... until the go off to college. Then they need to take over the controls. I am not talking about being a "helicopter parent"- one of those parents who hover over their child. But since my almost 18 year old was an infant I have felt responsible for her health and emotional well being. Since I left the hospital 18 years ago and they apparently ran out of handbooks, I went with it. 

Now my daughter is leaving for college in September. The cut off point when I don't have to be the one to take her to the doctor, decide if she can stay home from school or if she needs medication. I won't be there to fight her battles. Legally, I don't have to do much for her anymore. I have read and heard about parents cutting the umbilical cord at a much earlier age but that never felt right to me. Did I do her a disservice, keeping her under my wings? Maybe. If I did what happens now that she will be on her own and free to make decisions that will most likely breed some mistakes. Hopefully, she has learned a thing or two from me.

Like trust your body. It is an amazing piece of machinery. Or eating your greens is vital to getting the proper nutrition. It's better to be happy and together than right and alone. And of course, wearing white before labor day is okay now. But here's what I really hope she has learned.

That as a mother, I have done my best.

That moving from a place of love rather than fear always feels right.

That even though it appeared I made mistakes whatever needed to happen happened.

That being a strong individual is a good thing. 

That caring for someone or something you love is never easy but always rewarding.

That if you listen to others instead of your true wisdom, you will be living in some else's dream.

That the handbook you follow is the one in your heart. 

As September draws closer and college awaits, I feel confident that she will be prepared to handle anything. She will fly now with her own wings and bind her own handbook in her heart. And of course, I will always be there if she needs me. It says so in my handbook.